The Unsavory Cashier

A recent internal dialogue with myself went a little something like this:

Black coffee. Maybe some cream.

Crap.

The cream is bad.  *GLOP*, *GLOP*, *GLOP* in the cup bad.

Ok.

No coffee.

New Plan.

So this is the way my day started. Theoretically, this is probably a good thing. It can only go up from here, right?

I mean, if I had gently awakened to coffee that had lovingly ground its beans and placed itself in a French press to steep to perfection, what the hell would I do after that? (Obvious dismay that coffee could do this aside, of course).  And seriously? I don’t even know what to do with the chunky milk horribleness. There is no way to transform that into a charming sentiment. There is no in-between on milk. It’s either good or bad and this was very, very bad. I promise.

I try very hard to be a “glass half full” kind of girl. If I can only find one of my shoes, I would likely say something to the effect of “at least I have the other one”. But that, my friends, is bullshit. Sometimes you just have to see things how they really are regardless of how you feel about the state of your glass or the whereabouts of your shoe. The reality of it is that having one shoe is really the same thing as having no shoes at all because you can’t wear just one shoe. I mean, I guess you could, but most people probably wouldn’t. So what does having a half full glass do for you? It may leave you wanting something more, but it moistens the palate.  But what does a half empty glass do for you? It leaves you thirsty.

Yeah.

Drink that up – chunks and all.

So there you are, walking around wearing one shoe, parched, bitter, probably nauseated and being a generally unappreciative hag. Doesn’t that make you feel pretty, ladies?

And I know how much I LOVE spending time with people like this. I may be cynical, but I’m not miserable. Being a cheerleader to someone who is content to bask in self-pity is exhausting and frankly, a complete waste of effort. Specifically, MY effort.

So what. Shoes are a highly overrated commodity in this country. Go barefoot. Don’t try to cheer the un-cheerable – you know who these people are and they know we’re talking about them.

So, in closing, we have all had (and will have) to deal with things that we would rather not. That happens. But let’s form a united front and agree not to be horrible to people around us, especially innocent strangers who inadvertently stumbled into your unsavory moment. Smile. Be nice. Fake it. They don’t know about your chunky coffee or your missing shoe and just want to get out of the fucking store.  Ahem. Sorry.

So, I will be nice to you perhaps even when you are not very nice to me. However, I will not be the cheerleader who tries to right the wrong in your day and I WILL NOT be an outlet for your inexplicable nastiness.  Embrace the concept of moving forward. Make a new plan. Consider a career about a bazillion leaps away from customer service.